Thinking Of You, Mom

As you know, I was in Mackay last week and I had the opportunity to see so much while I was there. I just put up pictures of Kai's farm, Katee's boyfriend lives on this beautiful piece of land with horses, a cockatoo, and dogs and cats galore. It reminded me of my mom immediately. Just the atmosphere of being on a farm is intoxicating for me. I love being in the middle of nowhere with the smell of grass and horses all around you. This was always something I enjoyed in Williamstown at my mom's farm. We always used to take treats down to the horses and I would love to feel their smooth peach fuzz noses on my hand. My entire life, I have loved to be outside. Marine Science is obviously perfect for people that love the outdoors because you are always doing something outside or underwater for that matter. I consider myself to be a nature lover, tree hugger, whatever you want to call it and I believe my mom was the same way. I didn't have a problem with getting my hands dirty at the farm, I loved to help feed the horses and I would love to ride bare back, I always felt so free. I felt that my mom was really herself in Williamstown because having a place to call her own with horses, and the whole get up was always what she dreamed of. Water sports weren't really her thing because I remember gunning it on the jet ski and she about had a heart attack and kept asking me to slow down. Either way, my love of water came from both my mom and dad.

In Mackay, I really missed her a lot, being around all the things she loves so much. It made me want her there to see all the things I did, and just to be with me. In the distance, you could see the beautiful mountains surrounding everything and the wide open fields were beautiful with all the sugar cane growing. It also reminded me of Indiana in a way minus the mountains and the sugar cane (replace it with corn). I feel like being in the country will always remind me of her and I think it is going to be the hardest thing for me to cope with when she's gone. I will be flooded with memories every time I'm near a farm or country town, but it will always bring a smile to my face because I know she's glad I turned out the way I did. I can't wait to tell her about Australia. Even though she won't be able to respond, I know she will be excited right along with me and she will love to hear my stories because she always has. I love that I can share my thoughts with you all.

I'll always be thinking of you, Mom.

Overwhelmed...

I went to my mailbox today, and while sifting through the junk and bills, I noticed that I had several pieces of personal mail. Upon further inspection, I noticed that there were three letters addressed to me that had been sent from Indianapolis. I recognized two out of the three return addresses, so I began with the one that was unfamiliar. The name on the envelope was Debbie Broughton, and enclosed I discovered a handwritten letter along with some pictures. At this point, I already knew I was probably in for some tears. It turns out that Debbie was one of Mom's best childhood friends, and she recently attended the funeral services for Uncle Rex. She wrote that she had waited and waited in line to see Mom, and then someone happened to tell her about Mom's illness and current state and she was obviously very upset and left. She went on to say that she had met Whitney and me at my grandparents' funeral services, and shared some personal anecdotes about her relationship with Mom. I cried the entire time I was reading her letter, particularly when Debbie mentioned the fact that Mom love all animals especially horses. She said that she, Mom and their friend Maricia used to have "cowgirl" times with their horses. I know I have spoken previously about Mom's love of animals, and for someone I don't even know to mention this in a brief letter just shows that this is something everyone remembers about her. Debbie also mentioned several times how beautiful and well-liked my mom was. I plan on writing a response very soon, and hopefully Whitney and I will be able to establish a relationship with a new person who can regale us with even more Donna stories.

The second letter I opened was from Pat Crafton, whom I mentioned briefly in the Uncle Rex post. She is the one who named her daughter Donna after my mother. Pat enclosed a letter and pictures as well. The letter went on to talk about what a dear friend Mom was, and how painful it is to think of her in her current state of illness. She filled me in on how their family is doing, and how well all of their children and grandchildren are doing. I very much enjoyed the pictures Pat enclosed, and there was such a variety. There were pictures of Donna Crafton when she was born and also the most recent one taken of her and Mom in 2001 (which I posted on my refrigerator). There was a picture of Mom from Triton Central's highschool prom, which I had never seen before. There was even a picture of my Mamaw and Papaw at their 50th wedding anniversary party. I plan to keep in touch with the Crafton family, and regret very much not having contacted them sooner.

The third piece of mail was from my Aunt Kathy, Uncle Rex's wife. She was the one who gave Debbie my address. Aunt Kathy just enclosed a brief note about wanting to come and visit Mom, and that she needed directions since Rex was the one who knew how to get down there. Now, I happen to know that my Aunt Kathy and Uncle Rex dealt with a lot of foolishness from my mom in the past. Mom was sometimes a little dramatic (see, I come by it honestly!), but Rex and Kathy never once complained or let it interfere with their relationship with Whitney and me. I respect them so much for that, and I cannot even imagine what she is dealing with right now. I look forward to seeing her when she comes to visit, and plan to visit the family in Indi when Whitney gets back to the States.

I consider myself so blessed to have people like these in my life. I can hardly believe that these random acts of kindness were directed towards Whitney and me in regard to our mom. Mom touched the lives of so many, and this is just more proof of how much everyone is impacted by her awful illness. It makes me infinitely happy and also deeply saddens me that my mom doesn't know that she has left this sort of impression on so many people. I don't know if she ever had a clue that she was so popular and so well-loved, but Whitney and I are both so lucky to be able to hear these stories and we will definitely treasure each and every one of them. I believe that even as hard as this is for me to deal with, these people and their stories will be enormously helpful in helping with the healing and coping process. Thank you to everyone...

Crazy Cat Ladies

The Three Stooges

My Blue Angel :)

So, I have sort of been saving this post for a special time because it is very near and dear to my own heart. As I have mentioned before, my sister is so much like Mom that everyone sees the similarities. But I feel that I have had to dig a little deeper sometimes to realize her likeness in myself. However, there are certain similarities that are ridiculously obvious, such as our shared love of cats, Siamese or "Meezers" in particular. Most of my friends already refer to me as the crazy cat lady because I have three little furballs of my own. I spent my childhood looking forward to visits to my mom's parents' house because I could spend the entire time with their cats! I was never allowed to have a cat because my dad despised them, so I had to live vicariously through other people's cat ownership. My Mamaw had two cats when I was young, and their names were Jess and Tonk. Jess was a chocolate point Siamese and Tonk was a Blue Russian mix. They were in love with each other, and I was in love with them. There actually used to be four cats, two were my mom's and two were Mamaw's. My mom had two Siamese cats, Jess and a blue point Siamese named Jay. Now, Jay was something of a legend. Mom used to talk about how he would eat food right out of her mouth because he was so pushy. He loved corn and mushrooms in particular. Mom used to have a large milk can and Jay had a stuffed frog that was kept in the can. He used to climb in there and actually fish it out, acrobat that he was! Uncle Rex used to say Jay hated him (and everyone but my mom and Papaw for that matter), except when he would be in the shower or getting dressed for work. Jay once fell into the shower and scratched up Rex's legs until he found his way out. When Rex had his work pants on, Jay would wind himself around his ankles and leave a hair trail all over his pants. Typical smart alec cat! Jess was somewhat more subdued, although my right thigh does bear a half-moon scar from where I picked her up and she scratched me trying to get free.

Now, those who know me well know that I have many similar stories with my own furry friends. Three days after moving out of my Dad's house for good, I went to the animal shelter and came home with my first cat, a lynx point Siamese named Bella. Then we decided to get a second, and went to the shelter about ten months later and found Cyrus, a chocolate point who looks just like Jess. My most recent, and maybe most special, is Blue Lou, my blue point. Other than missing one of his legs, he looks just like Jay, Mom's favorite baby. Lou is also a pushy little begger who tries to eat the food right out of my mouth! Every single time I look at him, I think of how Mom would have adored him. Blue points are hard to find, and when I saw him on Petfinder, I had to at least go meet him. I knew that having three cats would be a little much, but how could I not get a cat that looked just like Jay? Well, Lou has been a welcome addition to my family, and is probably the most well-behaved of the bunch. He is very affectionate, and he always has something to talk about (Meezers are very talkative, and they sound almost like human babies). Even though my family is complete, I still look at Siamese cats on Petfinder, and it breaks my heart to see these beautiful cats in the shelters. I love them so much, and lot of that is due to my mom's special love for them as well. It is particularly sad for me that Mom never got to meet any of my cats because I know how much she would have enjoyed them, but they will forever remind me of that piece of her.

I have to find pics of Mom's cats to put on here because I know I have them somewhere!